Why young boys should never be called 'man of the house'

I think the pressure of being the oldest sibling to lookout and take care of the younger siblings will be there, regardless of what title the oldest child is given. I don't think the title is the issue here, it's the added pressure and responsibility the oldest child is forced to deal with, due to being raised in a single parent household.

As for the Doritos commercial, there were some subliminal messages in that commercial. This commerical was shown during the Super Bowl, so there's no telling how may people saw it. 1) The way the man looked at the woman as she walked back to her room. I think the image of the man checking out the woman was inappropriate, for a commercial. Once again we have a black woman being viewed as sexual object. 2) A child slapping an adult. A child slapping an adult is the ultimate sign of disregard and disrespect. Even if the child disagreed with the way the man looked at his mother, surely there could've been some other way the child could've gotten the man's attention. It was uncalled for to show a child slapping an adult. Images are very powerful and to have this type of image of black people being broadcast to the entire world was a problem for me.

@ Independent Thinker: My exact thoughts about the commercial. Didn't find it amusing at all. Very candid blog by Ms. Reynolds. Though I don't think young folks should be infantilized, either.

I thought that commercial was disturbing too. Kids would have a lot less pressure on them to be adults or act like adults if there were two parents in the house who behaved as adults. At the risk of sounding like one of those nut job evangelists, it really is best to have two parents in the household. Young boys are best served by a strong male presence. That's not to say that single mothers can't do wonders with their kids. Look at Barack Obama. He didn't turn out so bad! But raising a boy a tough job for a sungle mother. I don't think anyone would disagree with that.

How very sad and tragic, its a shame that these women don't try to pick real men to have children with and let real men raise their children, especially boys. Take your time young women, find a good man, they exist and will be in the lives of their children, no boy is a man of any house, he needs a man to show him how to be a man and leave these trifling losers alone, like the one who took this talented, handsome young man's life.

Joni, nice article but unreasonable.

Is it really possible to teach young boys on "how to be a man" but expect them not to be considered "man of the house" if the situation presents itself? No it's not.

I do agree that it's too much of a burden to place on a child. But children always been expected to fulfill roles typically filled by adults, haven't they? In many families, The oldest or lone female sibling cooks and cleans while the male empties the garbage, mows the lawn or things like that. Why get caught up on what I consider an inconsequential phrase?

I thought the Doritos commercial was chuckle-worthy. Sure he slapped the man and that's what he deserved. The fact that they were black really makes no difference at all. I could give a rats -you know what - about whether nonblacks will stereotype the rest of us because of this one ad. It's an ad. We don't need to be alarmists about it. At least not this one.

Let's take a breath and stop being so uptight about EVERYTHING black that's perceived as wrong.

Kids are never too young to accept some level of responsibility, yet they should never be placed in a responsible position over an adult. What's sad is some adults fail to accept responsibility and they give their authority to a child. The child will abuse it and them. The Doritos commercial was a slap in the face to Black women. That kid was ugly, rude, and he would have been disciplined by me with or without his Mamma's permission. You don't get in my face and we shouldn't empower a kid to do so.

I agree with you Joni. My mother raised three of us singlehandedly as a result of a tragic accident that took Dads life when I was seven years old. Many years later the recollection of hearing my brother myself or any pretender to the throne being referred to as "The Man of the house" does not manifest itself in my memories of those days.Seems Mom opted for a common sense approach dealing with real life issues. The Doritos ad was pretty lame.

Although I was the oldest of five boys,I knew who the man of the house was. Being the oldest, came with a lot of responsibility and power but we all knew Mom and Dad were in charge. I just recently lost both of my parents within a three month period to the day. They were married for 63 years and as the oldest I was prepred to step in and handle all of their affairs. We're from the old school where the oldest takes charge. As for the Doritos commercial -- cute, but not my cup of tea. But, I did get a chuckle.

Ostend, sad to hear but it seems as if you at least get that Joni is focusing on a simple title rather than what the role really is. How many people know of instances where an adult (of any race) was greeted by a child in such a way? How many people know of young boys who consumed the role of man of the house before their time? I'm sure not many.

So why raise the alarm? Rajaan was able to take care of school and contribute to his family. Did he pay the mortgage/rent? Go to parent teacher conferences? So why the focus on what somebody chose to call him while describing how his family and friends depended on him? He learned how to fill the void somehow. Seems like another man outside his home was the example.

Tragic story indeed. I've called my son a little man every since he turned 13. He's not a man and our relationship is just fine.

Man or Woman of the House is not just a title; it's an attitude of supremacy in judgment & independent authority. There are child soldiers who actually kill, do these children have the self-restraint to have earned the position Men of the House just because they have killed? Taking care of siblings doesnt make one MoH. Man or Woman of the House also has sexual overtones & so the Edipus complex comes into play. My apologies, but my daughter could never be the Woman of the House; that is reserved for a woman who [1] qualifies as a mother and [2] with whom i am having sex. Lastly, the human story is subbordinated to the "loss to football". Who was the shooter? What was his position in the house? Was the shooter resented by Rajaan because Rajaan's father abandoned him? What is the human story here? That's what i want to know.

All of us who are the oldest have had to help our folks around the house and take care of younger siblings, but, this new thing that a boy is the "man" of the house is just not right, even if its a single mom. Its as if kids can't be kids anymore, just a tragic loss of a promising life.

Thanks Mid-West!! I appreciate that and you're absolutely right I did get Joni's message.

There is nothing manly about 16yr old teenagers. Yet, they are almost always referred formally as young "men." Does it mean that they possess the responsibilities and experiences of an actual man? No.

Does it mean that calling boys "men" will result in some psychological problems? Likely not. That's why I contend that we are merely discussing how a word is used even though we fully understand that no child can replace an adult.

This phrasing is older than all of us in here posting. Not a new thing.

Adult men need to own up to their responisiblities and act like grown men. Maybe then little boys won't feel the need to fill the gap. The truth is %99.9 of children would not have reacted like this. Children could be quite subversive, they recognize the power they lack and often act out in other ways. So for example they could have depicted the child causing something to spill on the man or tripping him in some way while making it look like an accident.

This article is mixing apples and oranges. Why all this fuss over a commercial and a indiviual incident that could happend in any household regardless of race? What has one have to do with the other?

Angie G said it best: "leave these trifling losers alone, like the one who took this talented, handsome young man's life." Yes, there are trifling men who do not carryout their responsibilities as parents when they have children. We also need to acknowledge, as Angie has mentioned, what role the mother plays in the situation. She selects the men she brings into the home occupied with young children and teenagers. She played an important role in this and she should not get away with it--hold her fully responsible for bringing the unbalanced man into the house in the first place. This is not blaming the victim, it's laying responsibility where it matters.

People tend to blow everything out of proportion, these are isolated incident, and that Doritos commercial was just entertainment. "The way the man looked at the woman as she walked back to her room. I think the image of the man checking out the woman was inappropriate, for a commercial." Your joking right that's what men do what world do you live in? "Once again we have a black woman being viewed as sexual object." All woman are sex objects weather you like it or not. Although it may not be the proper role for a child to have. "Man of the house" is one and even though you might not like it life...

Gimme a break!

Yes, Yes, Yes...thank you for this article!

The statistics have become unbelievable, the stakes are undoubtedly astronomical, it can be challenging to discuss and even more difficult to deal with it. Technology, counselling, communicating... they all compete with human nature. And each and every circumstance is different.

Review by D. Swanson for Mario Kart Wii with Wii Wheel
Rating:
So at first I was a little skeptical about this game because I have played every other version of Mario Kart and the Wii Wheel worried me because it seemed like it would be hard to control and gimmicky. After having played it, I actually find it to be the most fun out of all the mario karts. This version is very similar to Mario Kart 64 only with additional features such as