After Derrion Albert beating, parents and government both have role to play

If everybody gets off of their butts and do something instead of waiting for something disasterous to happen before we get ourselves in gear! Most parents are overworked. Some are apathetic. Many are absentee. All of these add to the problem. The government can aid parents by supplying jobs that pay more and allow them more time to spend with their kids. It can also help by promoting programs that help parents to raise their children in environments that more conducive to learning and social growth as opposed to despair and decay. Driving through the South side of Chicago is like driving through a neighborhood in Iraq after it was hit by a scud missile. All of this is unacceptable and it's a damn shame that Derrion Albert and thousands of children continue to die and we are still debating on who is to blame instead of doing what we can to solve the problem.

Maybe if parents were playing a role to begin with this would have never happend.

PARENTS? Some of you people are completely unfamiliar with certain aspects of ghetto life. Some of these kids who belong to gangs haven't seen their parents in weeks or months because their parents are either drugged out or not in their lives at all. Some of these kids either have to raise themselves and their brother and sisters or rely on a gang to sell drugs to survive. The kids who are raising their brothers and sisters are not going to Family services because this agency will split them up and these kids will never see there siblings again. This violence among our youth is a NATIONAL PROBLEM where mentoring unfortunately is not enough.

That old adage it takes a village to raise a child seems as though it does not make sense to so many these days. The issue is deep, children having kids and just a lack of respect for life, and, the emulation of the so called gang life. Its a mess, but, its going to have to be fixed in and by the people in those areas, the government and meetings will not do it. A 'value' system needs to be taught, so sad that in 2009 that has to be taught to these children, and more than a few grown folks for that matter, its not up to anyone but parents, grandparents and neighbors to do it, otherwise this foolish, self inflicted genocide will continue.

The violence that is seen today in many of our impoverished neighborhoods is reminiscent of the violence that the youth of third world countries live with. Many of these kids have absentee parents, whether it is due to drugs, jail, death or just plain indifference the children have to learn at a very early age to survive on their own and for many the only method of survival is through joining a gang. That is the only way they will be protected. The time has come to stop pointing fingers and placing blame and to start being proactive and trying to find a LONGTERM solution to this ever growing problem. AND on another not, all those celebrities who adopt children from poor countries sickens me, we have children here in cities like this one where children are simply forgotten by their parents. They need to start taking a look at their own country and seeing that some children here will have it just as bad as the children from China and Africa. We need to start taking care of ourselves before we try to fix everyone else's problems.

Yes, Parents! As in quit rewarding parents for irresponsble behavior and start punishing them--Early!! These kids don't "turn bad" overnight--10% of AA males are in prison, 70% drop out of high school, 2.5% graduate from colleges (despite many more getting in, thanks to billions of dollars in programs, 70% of AA babies are born to unwed mothers and 25% to teen mothers. And what does a teenage mother get for having a baby out of wedlock? Answer: MORE handouts, with no consequences to the father. Stop ENABLING irresponsible behavior with feel-good liberal programs! Have you ever noticed that Black immigrants from Africa don't have the same problems, and in fact, are looked upon unfavorably by some members of African American society? Maybe it IS certain aspects of the African American CULTURE that are by their very nature detrimental, and the liberal elitist response of not allowing them the dignity of learning by their mistakes.

So what do we do? My 18 year old niece has just given birth to her second child and both of her babies' father is locked up for the next 7 years for assault with a deadly weapon. Her two sons will probably wind up in the same place where their father is. What can we do? Education doesn't seem to help. The government doesn't seem to care and people in the community have just resigned themselves to the senseless violence and let hooligans run amok and turn their neighborhoods into war zones.

OMAR you are off your rocker! We have to take responsibility for ourselves. You can live in an environment but not be a part of it. It's called a CHOICE! DCalpha right on right on! Our families were together more during SLAVERY than they are now and we are FREE! We have to stop making EXCUSES for our own NEGLIGENCE! Damn it, it makes me mad. How dare someone say "help me raise my children". They are YOUR children...you didn't ask the government to help you make them!

ARNEADER, You can take responsibility for your child and I can take responsibility for mine, but what about the child whose 'parents' are locked up, on drugs and just don't give a shyt about the kids they produced? These are the kids who grow up and do horrible things like beat our children to death. Shed some light on what to do about these children but locked them up.

OMAR where is your neice's mother and father? In answer to your question...I always raised my son to be well behaved...in case something ever happened to me...I wanted him to be so well behaved that anybody would be GLAD to have him. And I continue that thought TODAY! He is 15, has good grades, can microwave food, (my stove has a glitch so I don't allow him to use it), cleans his room and his bathroom, he iron's his own clothes, he knows how to wash dishes and cut the lawn. THAT'S WHAT YOU DO...raise the kids. If I were to die TONIGHT...and someone had to raise my kid, or if he went to a foster home. He knows how to take care of himself and responsibility. It goes back to the PARENTS...I think it's sad for someone to say help me raise my children...children don't come him grown. I have talk to other parents who have good children and they say it's not hard raising their children. Raising children isn't hard but you certainly have to do it YOURSELF and not rely on somebody else to do it for you. The kids don't need PROGRAMS they need PARENTS.

I applaud all those whose comments point to African Heritage Community parental and adult responsibility as the solution to the problems illustrated in this terrible tragedy. Once during my travels, I happened upon the commencement of a similar situation. I walked right into the middle of the mass of children and addressed the 2 protagonists. After a few moments of discussion, I discerned they did not really want to fight; but, they knew no other way to settle their differences. I mediated their dispute and pointed out that men reason their problems to solutions, while brutes resort to force. The children dispersed just as the police arrived. I walked on home and that was the end of the event. I tell this story to reinforce the need our children have to be taught living skills.

A gang beatdown is something that the parents just can't battle by themselves. No episode of Cosby or Good Times dealt with this kind of ruthless gang. Well Good Times tried a couple of times with JJ and Michael, but no solutions were offered. This problem is beyond the scope of the family structure. You are either in it or out of this community. Inequity + injustice = violence. The only solution is move if you can afford it.

The solution is that responsible parents must take responsiblity for the children around them. Whether they are family or not. I understand Omar's situation and it's like what can I do about what someone else chooses to do. and the truth is nothing. we can not stop adults from acting irresponsible and stupid we can not MAKE them "good" parents, because in a very sick way they believe they are doing good already or the best that they can. The truth of the matter is that these people are very weak minded and self absorbed in their own struggles to extend any help toward their children. That is why it is up to responsible parents to take actions as much as possible. Break up the fight!! Tell them to tie their shoes. Tell them to stop cursing. Correct them and don't fear their responses. They will react based on what they know. if all they know is ignorance that's what they will do. I have on many occasions corrected a child that was not mine fully expecting them to respond negatively and they have not!! They want to be protected and cared about. Leading them and correcting them shows them that you care. Take a little more initiative to change the lives of these children. One word may make the difference. and if I have to lose my life correcting a child then I died trying to make a difference!!

Boojie blacks want to have a "dialogue" about black-on-black crime, but they don't want to end the war on drugs. SOS!

Boojie blacks want to have a "dialogue" about black-on-black crime, but they don't want to end the war on drugs. SOS!

I appreciate everybody's comments. My solution is this. I take my 8 year old son to school every day and I pick him up. (If his mother and I can't do it, We make sure someone we trust does.)If my son has a problem with a bully or gets in a fight with another child, his mother and I are on it. We meet with school administrators and teachers on a regular basis and constantly monitor our son's progress. My son's mother and I are not together but we still realize that we are his parents forever and his well-being are our number one priority. But, parents like my brother and his baby mama just 'hit it and quit it." Their selfishness and absenteeism in my niece's life have made her a teenaged unwed mother for the second time with the father of her two sons incarcerated for trying to shoot his rival at a nightclub. As for trying to discipline someone else's children? Have you ever been cursed out by a toddler? Children nowadays do not have the respect for their elders. If you try to tell a youngster to tie his shoes or pull his pants up, you will be cursed out and told to mind your own business. These youngbloods nowadays will get up in your face and you will be forced to hurt them or get hurt yourself. And that's when their 'parents' will finally take an interest in their child by ganging up on you. And trying to make it a class issue is counterproductive too. Bourgeois black people can get on the cable news shows and talk about black on black crime and yet, support policies that cut social programs and funding for schools in disadvantaged neighborhoods. The best course of action is protecting our own children and if you can help a 'throwaway' child when you get the chance, do it. Until then, watch your babies like a hawk and protect them fierce like a Mama lion. That's the only way to prevent a Derrion Albert tragedy.

If the only solution to this problem involved parents then we must assume that the grandparents and great grandparents totally FAILED in providing the necessary skills needed for their children to matriculate througout this society.

Arneader, you are in the minority of people I've encountered who believe that raising children is easy. Even friends who have nannies, live in the burbs, nice schools etc. always talk about the difficulties in raising children--especially black boys. I raise my son to do exactly what your son is/has done and I can attest to the fact that it is HARD. That is not to suggest that it isn't rewarding but EASY it is not.

I often tire of reading stories about how it "used" to be. Let's talk about how it is now. There are those whose contribiution to this same community structure so often mentioned does not extend beyond their own family. I can wax all day about what a great job my son is doing. However, I also know that we are not an island and must contribute outside of ourselves. If you aren't doing than then the most you have done is simply complain.

Oh and complain.

Did I mention complain?

At least there seems to be open dialogue about this on-going problem with our children. What concerns me is that there are children who are the only responsible members in the family or who can only survive because there is a "government program" available to them. To yank the only life line that they may have is unfair also. The problem is far more complicated then just citing parents as the solution. The solution must be multi-faceted. (One size does not fit all in this case) It's very easy to sit up on our lofty perches and say what should be but the reality is that these kids need serious assistance and intervention or we as an African American population will drift further and further into the haves and have nots because the haves will move away and leave the others to fend for themselves. This issue is far larger than a simple off the cuff solution because we think we know all the answers.

MidwestGuy you know what? I waited for the time raising my son would be challenging...and it never happened! I remember going to a family outing when my son was two years old...and a relative who was about 10 years older than myself asked me if my son was bad and I replied "nawl". I could not believe she would ask me such a ludacris question. (Two years old come on...it sounded absurd). I have always been active in my son's life. I voluteered at the school, I worked in the nursery when he was in the nursery, when he moved to childrens church, I worked in childrens, when he moved up to the youth I volunteered with the youth. I was so afraid my son would get sick of me being around so much. I was there for him....I wanted to see what was going on...I did not want anyone abusing my kid, also. What I was taught by my parents and grandparents were VALUES and I passed them on to my son. I only have one child and perhaps ONE child isn't challenging...but I work with what I am blessed with. I'M A SINGLE AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN who is raising an African American male and I don't have any problems with my son! Being a single mom I knew I did not want my black male son to fall between the CRACKS. I did not want him to become a THUG, a DRUG DEALER or DRUG USER. We live in the SAME HOOD I grew up in. I put my life on HOLD for my son and tried to be the BEST PARENT I could be. And I think that sums it up. You have to focus on what's important...my son is my is my GREATEST INVESTMENT. We have great dialogue. And another thing I RESPECT him as a HUMAN BEING. I do not treat him like property or treat him like I own him. I treat my son like I want to be treated and that's with RESPECT. Some parent are trying to enjoy their lives as THOUGH they are swinging singles. These parents are getting DRUNK, DRUGGED, SCREWING EVERYTHING ETC. You cannot do that and think your children are going to RESPECT YOU! Sometimes you can't DATE! You have to postpone it and you have to be HOME being MOM or DAD!

Arneader, based on real life experiences, the ease in which you describe raising your son is more of an anamoly than not. Yes there is that "terrible two" stage in life but that does not suggest that all children are bad. I would say that most children are not bad. In that sense, your son is like most other children.

While it seems like you have done a fine job with raising your son, he is not one of the often mentioned statistics. Those are the ones in need of attention. My point to you is that if you (not that you are) are going to talk about the things "we" need to do, it must go beyond what "you" have done for "your" son. That can serve as a blueprint for being actively involved in your child's life. However, the minute your son has a child of out wedlock, begins using drugs, misunderstands his role as a man (something I'm not sure if women are adequately able to do), then your son becomes the statistic.

As a man, I see it as my duty to reach out beyond raising my son. That's the community involvement which has historically worked in our favor. Simply raising our own kids is not enough--not now.

One important component was left out of that combination. The church. Where are the "Pro-Life" people now? If your really concerned about life, what about Derrion's? Black churces that "serve" these violent neighborhoods. Get out of the church and onto the streets. If you really have Jesus, share him with the ones who need him the most. But young people are very savy. More than we give them credit for. If they see us talking love, and unity. And not living it, they will not hear you. Young people want structure, but they want it from someone who "Really" loves them, with their deeds and not just lip service.

MidwestGuy I beg the differ...The way I raise my son is NORMAL. I think you have a misconception of raising children... All I did was discipline my son...and early. If that's not NORMAL than I certainly do not know what normal is. Do you have ANY children? I am DIVORCED and a single African American woman...now that's a STATISTIC. When my exhusband left I certainly thought I was a STATISTIC too. But I refused to believe the HYPE...that my son would grow up to be anything other than SUCCESSFUL! And I discovered it wasn't anything but HYPE--I mean a LIE! I really think I'm on POINT. All WE need to do is be RESPONSIBLE. If we can be responsible, for our houses, cars, rent, bills, cell phones, getting our weave done each weekend, getting on acrylic nails put on, keeping our appointment at the food stamp office, going to the bank to cash our welfare checks etc. Don't tell me we can't be responsible for our CHILDREN. People CHOOSE to take care of what they want to take care of and not to take care of their RESPONSIBLITIES. I'm not worry about my son going astray for the simple reason... I haven't JUST started raising him. As mentioned before I have instilled VALUES and STANDARDS in my son. The other day I brought three pamplets home regarding SEX and I told him I wanted him to read it. And he was like we have went over this before. And I replied you were 11 now you are 15 it's time for a refresher. He did not want to read it...so I said either you read it or I will read it to you. Of course he went on and read it and we discussed it afterwards over laughs, giggles and fun. Everyday with my son is a teaching moment... at the neighborhood store and white trashy are sitting out there trying to pick up brothers... I tell him you see her...she has diseases...don't ever get with her. If we see a brother standing on the corner...I tell him...you see him...he didn't finish school. It's easy...NO PROBLEM MON.

We all realize the Black teen violence problem in major cities. Are Black teenagers more violent than other teenagers? I am tired of the news media portraying violence as a problem only among Black youths. It is the number 1 news story on the nightly news. The following 3 violent incidences occurred in the middle class White suburbs surrounding my mostly Black city within the past year. All players are White. 1) A White teenager felt he had been disrespected by another teenager. He confronted the boy. A crowd of White teenagers formed, and a fight started. The teenager who felt he had been disrespected was hit in the head with a golf club by an 18 years old boy. He died. 2) A White boy 17 or 18 years old was selling drugs to his father in his father’s house, when a friend of the father took some of drugs without paying. The boy rounded up 2 of his friends and confronted on a street the man who took the drugs. They beat the man and dropped a chunk of concrete on the man’s head. He died. 3) A baby face 17 years old White boy was owed money by an older man. The boy lured the man into his grandfather’s garage. With the help of a teenage friend, he stabbed the man and cut off the man’s head and fingers. The man’s head was found on a river bank, and his burnt body was found in a field.

after the moment wears off for some it will be back to boogie sadly :(

The stats really are overwhelming, the stakes are typically astronomical, it is difficult to speak about and even harder to deal with it. Technology, counseling, communication... all of them compete with human nature. And each and every situation is different.