Mary J. Blige answers her fans' questions

Essence.com | Posted September 14, 2009 11:30 AM

Queen of Hip-Hop Soul Mary J. Blige graces the cover of ESSENCE's October issue (for the tenth time!) in a piece where she talks about her latest album, "Stronger;" her role in Tyler Perry's new movie, "I Can Do Bad All By Myself;" her foundation to help young women, the Foundation For the Advancement of Women Now (FFAWN); and the 15th anniversary of her album "My Life." In honor of the album's milestone, ESSENCE asked its readers what they would like to ask Mary J. by posting more than 100 questions on Twitter and ESSENCE.com. Find out what burning questions Mary J.'s fans asked--and how she answered each of them from the heart.

Do you feel any pressure to keep pumping out hits because of the younger artists?--Angie Kyles, Los Angeles

MARY J. BLIGE: I feel no pressure. I pump out hits for my fans. They just want to hear from me. I don't compete with the young generation, I learn from them. I listen to what they're saying, so I can get a little bit of that, so we can cross, so we can have an understanding and hear each other.

When I listen to your music I can't help but feel the emotion, whether it is joy, pain, anger or bitterness. How do you control and channel your emotions to give us these great performances?--Adina Oubre, New Orleans

Every lyric in my songs is real to me, so I channel the words and the feelings. Whatever those different songs are, they really are relatable to me. And then the fans give me the energy back, because they're basically saying, "It's us too Mary," so I just take it to the next level.

I always wondered why, and I'm not hating on Faith Evans (I love her too), but were you to be the First Lady of Bad Boy?--Erica Neal,Columbus, Ohio

If I wasn't signed to MCA, it could have been me, which I believe Puff would have wanted. But I understand Puff is a businessman, so he had to go get his First Lady, which I understand. It took me a couple of years to understand, but you know, after a while I was like, "Oh, okay. He had to do that," because he didn't have a female artist over there.

Will you ever sing "I Don't Want to Do Anything Else" [her duet with Jodeci's K-Ci] live again? Angela Ervin--Greensboro, North Carolina

No. I mean, if I sing it with someone else, yes.

How would you encourage a single woman who is feeling depressed because of this recession? Claudine Browne--Kingston, Jamaica

Don't be defined by what your circumstances are. Free your energy up. Don't think that money or being able to pay your bills makes you who you are. God made you the way you are, so don't let not having money take that away.

You have excellent taste in your style of dress and you wear some of the best sunglasses I've ever seen. Why haven't you created your own line of eyewear and clothing?--Karen Ellison, Chicago

I'm actually working on a line of sunglasses right now. Clothing is a little hard, because I don't want to do things that are going to get dated. I don't want to do it just to make money. I want to do it so it can move around in the culture the way I want it to. I'd want my things to last forever. I would want the jeans to fit the women forever and be their favorite pair of jeans. But the sunglasses, that's me all day. I'll make a pair of sunglasses that you'll pull out five or ten years later and rock them.

You had to suffer through physical, emotional and drug abuse. At what point did you decide enough was enough? Who introduced you to the recovery process that seemed to transform your life?--James A. Johnson, Richmond

It was during the "No More Drama" album when I realized: if I don't do something, I'm not going to be here anymore. I made a decision to get help, not from any rehabs or anything like that, but I prayed and asked God to send me someone to help me. And he sent me help in the form of a man, and it was my husband, Kendu Isaacs. That's my friend who helped me to get to a point of asking myself questions like, "Why am I doing this?" With him I had to go meet the message that was coming from the messenger. At that point, I was finished with everything. God works in mysterious ways.

Out of the darkness and into the sunshine, you appear to be at the highest peak of your life. What is the next stage of your journey?--Kristen Wright, Charleston, South Carolina

My foundation, FFAWN, is something that's really, really big to me right now. And for the next part I'd like to continue growing as a businesswoman and a philanthropist. I'll continue being a mother to my children that I have from my marriage. For the rest, I don't know, whatever else God has in store.

Although this is not your first movie [Mary's debut was "Prison Song" in 2001], what challenges did you face filming?--Letia Mitchell, Danbury, Connecticut

Getting into this character, Tanya, was hard, because it was like a blank canvas, and I had to fill it in. Actors and actresses don't get the credit that they deserve, because they have to develop this person. After reading the script, I know who Tanya is. She's a protector of people. But I had to give her a backstory; I had to give her an age, a first date, siblings. Does Tanya have a mom? A dad? How did she become a recovering alcoholic? I had to go do all that background work.

Love your work. How does working on a video set compare or contrast from a major film?--Tonya Butler, New Orleans

Working on the set of a movie is very concentrated. Videos, we know what we're doing, they are fun and it's music. But with movies, you have to really concentrate on your character in front of a camera. You have to really know who this person is, and use everything--your worries, your nervousness--and make this person come to life. You can't let it look like it's yours. You've got to give it to the other character. It's hard.

The evolution of Mary's style has always started and set trends in the hip- hop community. How do you determine the direction of her style choices?--Dawn Carter, Washington, D.C.

It's what works for me. What fits my body properly and not what everybody else is wearing but what it is that works for me.

What is your daily routine such as music rehearsal, working out, etc.?--Terrell Gill, Baker, Louisiana

When I wake up in the morning I always thank God; I pray; I eat breakfast; I train about an hour, then eat lunch. And then I'll go to the studio, if I'm recording. I probably drink as much water as I possibly can, because water is key.

Now that things are moving upwards in a big way, how do you keep your focus and stay balanced? How does your family help and what exactly do you do with your family.--Rev. Sunee S. Robinson, Goodyear, Arizona

They support me with love and laughter and just unconditional, non-biased love. They don't, "Yes, ma'am" me to death. They tell me what it really, really is. And at the same time, they're still fun.

You've been a symbol of strength and inspiration for so many young women who grew up listening to your music. Given all you've been through and what you know now, what advice would you give your younger self?--Nakia White, Trenton

I would say, whew...that's a good one. I guess, first, believe in yourself no matter what, no matter who doesn't like you or doesn't want to support you. Believe and love yourself.

How should I stay a strong Black woman? I'm raising two sons (15 & 17) on my own and taking care of six nieces because my sister is in jail. I have a very awesome man who wants to marry me next year, but my sister doesn't come home until 2011. I have no help from my mom because she's on drugs, which she says she's not on anymore, but she still runs with the same crew. I pray day and night to God for guidance. But I'd like to know, how can I get through this rough road?--Anonymous, Orlando, Florida

Continue to say a prayer for [your sister and mom], and if this man is anything that you say he is, try it out. He might be someone who can help you with all of it. Or, if God might be answering her prayers through him. But, first and foremost, say a prayer for your people. Stay prayed up.

I am currently working on a memoir about domestic violence in teenage relationships. I've read about trials and tribulations that you endured and survived and I feel a connection with you on that level. So my question is simply, how are you doing lately?--Phyllis Montana-Leblanc, New Orleans

I'm doing well. The next level of where I have to go is just a little hard. I mean, a lot hard. But, other than that, I'm better than I've been. I'm doing well.

Read more about Mary J. Blige and see hot photos in the October 2009 issue of ESSENCE, on newsstands now.

[Original Entry]

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